The Quite Interesting Year
by Thisisaprettylongusername
Summary: Second Accidental Adventures book. What if the prophecy you know was *ahem* tweaked a bit (Ok, fine, rewritten), Harry's IQ was slightly higher, and people reacted accordingly to being a magical world? Book 2. This won't be very long, but it'll cover all of Harry's first year. Eventually.
1. What a Beginning

Sorry for the wait, I had to decide what'll happen in this chapter. This story will be a bit longer, and the chapters also will be longer. I may need anywhere from a day, to over a week, to write a chapter. I plan on writing a few, and releasing them over a couple of days, if I can.

Now, after all of this rambling on about writing, why not have the story?

Chapter 1: The Quite Interesting Year

The train suddenly slowed down, gradually, but still quickly.

Harry looked at Ron, "Are we here?"

"I think so," he replied. "What do you think the Sorting is going to be like? My brothers told me we'd have to fight a dragon to get into Gryffindor, just to show your bravery."

"Somehow, I doubt that. Maybe, it could be your brothers, the fact that these people need to keep the kids alive, or the fact that not a lot of people would get into Gryffindor, fighting a dragon at eleven years old."

"I suppose you're right. Let's go!"

The two boys got off the train, and noticed Hagrid over by the edge of a lake. He was calling out loudly, "Firs' years! Over here!"

So, Harry and Ron went over, and Hagrid led them over to a fleet of small boats. Once they got in one, it took off slowly, then built up speed, so it wouldn't throw them around by starting too fast.

'Cool! Self-propelled boats!' Harry thought. Somewhere close by, there was a girl's quiet response, also saying that self-driven boats would be fun.

Harry looked around. There was no one in sight, as they were one of the first to leave the side of the lake. He dismissed it as his imagination, since there was a better thing to think about than that.

They were getting close to Hogwarts, and they could see the almost-nighttime view of the castle. With its lights, and the cool shape, and the fact that it seemed to be in the middle of nowhere, it looked extremely magical.

They soon got to the shore, and went through the gates, to a side room. Minerva McGonagall, Albus Dumbledore's assistant, explained how the houses worked. "The four houses are Gryffindor, Slytherin, Ravenclaw, and Hufflepuff. Gryffindors are known for their bravery, Slytherins are known for their cunning, Ravenclaws for their eagerness to learn, and Hufflepuffs for their hard work."

With that introduction, she led them into the Great Hall, a huge, long, room with four tables tables down almost the whole length, and with a fifth smaller table, at the end, perpendicular to the others. That fifth was the one that had all of the professors at it.

Professor McGonagall went up to the raised end that had the professors' table. "When I call your name, come up here, and sit on the chair. I will place the Sorting Hat on your head, and it will decide what house you will go into. But first, the annual Sorting Hat song. You can probably guess who will be performing it."

The hat sat on the chair for a second. Then, a fold in the very wrinkly hat opened up into what could be called a mouth.

"Oh, you may not think I'm pretty,

But don't judge on what you see,

I'll eat myself if you can find

A smarter hat than me.

You can keep your bowlers black,

Your top hats sleek and tall,

For I'm the Hogwarts Sorting Hat

And I can cap them all.

There's nothing hidden in your head

The Sorting Hat can't see,

So try me on and I will tell you

Where you ought to be.

You might belong in Gryffindor,

Where dwell the brave at heart,

Their daring, nerve, and chivalry Set Gryffindors apart;

You might belong in Hufflepuff,

Where they are just and loyal,

Those patient Hufflepuffis are true And unafraid of toil;

Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw,

if you've a ready mind,

Where those of wit and learning,

Will always find their kind;

Or perhaps in Slytherin

You'll make your real friends,

Those cunning folk use any means

To achieve their ends.

So put me on! Don't be afraid!

And don't get in a flap!

You're in safe hands (though I have none)

For I'm a Thinking Cap!" (Quoted directly from the Philosopher's Stone)

All the current students applauded. The soon-to-be students were too surprised by the talking hat.

"Abbot, Hannah!" McGonagall called.

Once she got up there, she put on the hat. "Hufflepuff!" it yelled, after a few seconds of thought.

"Bones, Susan!"

"Hufflepuff!"

"Boot, Terry!"

"Ravenclaw!"

This went on for a few minutes.

"Malfoy, Draco!"

The silver-haired arrogant-looking boy Harry and Ron met on the train got up, and sat on the chair. As soon as the hat touched his head, it yelled, "SLYTHERIN!"

He walked off, looking very proud of himself.

A few more people got called up, including Hermione Granger, who got sorted into Gryffindor.

Then, it was Harry's turn. "Potter, Harry!"

Everyone went silent, and turned toward Harry, which added to his already-nervous state. They watched him shyly go up, and sit down. The hat fit onto his head, but it was a little too big, since it covered half of his face.

"Hmm." the Hat said. "Normally, I get the easy job, just working once a year. But then people like you, the hard-to-sort come along. On top of that, there's two, wait- three? No, four! What? How many of you are there? Tryin' to figure this out gives me a bloody headache, and I don't even have a head! I guess I'll make this easy on me. Slytherin, or Gryffindor? You don't like work, especially schoolwork, so Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw are out of the question."

"Well, I don't think I want to be around Malfoy, so not Slytherin. Will I have friends in Gryffindor?"

"Of course! Gryffindors will stick together, so, you'll have plenty of friends."

"That sounds good."

Meanwhile, everyone had been watching for a few minutes, as the silent conversation was goin on.

"Gryffindor!" the Hat yelled, suddenly.

The red-clad table cheered, with the ones wearing green looking on, with jealousy and disgust.

Harry took the hat off, and went over to the table cheering for him.

A few people after he was sorted, Ron got quickly sorted into Gryffindor, too. The two older boys with red hair moved over. One of them asked Harry, "What was going on? That hat took a while to sort you."

Harry replied, "I just was having a conversation with it. It asked me if I wanted to be in Slytherin or Gryffindor. Why? Couldn't you hear it, Fred?"

The twin was stunned, since Harry had randomly guessed his name, and correctly.

"No, it must have been in your head. And how did you get my name right?"

"What do you mean?"

"Our own mother can't tell us apart, yet you've done it twice. The only one who can do it correctly is Ginny."

"Oh. You just seemed Fred-er than him." he said, pointing at George.

The twins didn't know what to say, so the followed Ron's example, and piled food on their plates, but not as much as Ron.

Author's note: Here it is! I hope this was a good first chapter. I have no beta reader, so let me know if you spot a typo, or a missing scene, or something. This one is a bit long, and the longest chapter I've ever written. That's easy, since this is only the seventh I've ever written. I wan the chapters longer, not always like this, so they might take a while to write. Enjoy!


	2. Self-Propelled Boats

Hey guys, I hope you liked the last chapter. The first one of the last book was a pretty funny one. I hope this one is as good. It'll be shorter than chapter 1.

And to remind you, this isn't my universe I'm messing around in. I just borrow it, butcher it, jam it back together with some semblance of the original thing, and return it.

Chapter 2: Self-Propelled Boats

At the Burrow

A little red-haired girl got up late in the evening. She had been in bed, as she had an early bedtime. It wasn't completely dark, but the sun was setting. She carefully ran down the stairs, trying not to make too much of a commotion, though, there weren't many people in the house, just her parents.

"Mum?"

"Yes, Ginny?"

"Is it normal, to have strange ideas pop into your head, and seem like someone else suggesting them?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I just had a random idea pop into my head. It seemed like someone had just said it, since it wasn't something I would think of normally."

"What was it?"

"Self-propelled boats. It sounds like a cool idea, though I'm pretty sure it already exists."

"Hmm. I don't know. They have those at Hogwarts... You probably just had a random idea, though. I get those every now and then."

"Ok." Ginny said, feeling somewhat disappointed, for some reason.

A/N: how was it? Short, but I just had to write the other side of the boat thing. *gasp* Did I just reveal a spoiler? Well, I guess you'll just have to wait and see, then.


	3. Professor Problems

Sorry for the longer delay than usual. I had a plan for this chapter, but I think it'll show up later. If you happen to read something about Oliver Watermore in one of my books, that's the chapter that was originally going to be this one.

I don't own the characters, just the crazy prophecy and a bit of the story. And please don't post my stuff on other websites without asking me first. I found my first book, with one chapter being the pre-edit, on fiction hunt dot com. Please stop. And if you find my stories on any other than Fanfiction dot net, I didn't put it there.

Chapter 3: Professor Problems

While the two clones with red hair piled food on their plates, and Ron shoveled food onto his plate, Harry looked around. The professors were an interesting group. There was one with black hair, a pointy nose, and a scowl, and he looked as if he had yet to have someone instruct him on the basics of shower-taking. There was McGonagall, eating, with proper manners, so she wasn't very interesting to Harry. Hagrid was doing an entertaining job of trying to eat with human-sized utensils, while having hands, well, much larger than that. It was quite interesting. There was a little man, with a bundle of cloth on his head, sitting near the one who looked upset at everything and everyone, and he was trying to eat with shaking hands. The interesting part, was that while the pale pointy-nosed one was looking at Harry as if he was the one who caused all his problems, the little man was staring at Harry with the same expression, only times 50 or so. It was pure hate that he was sending over.

Harry's scar hurt suddenly when he was looking at the man. "Ron, why is he looking at me like that?"

Ron replied, "Oh, that's Snape. My brothers say he's just a big greasy git."

"The little guy?"

"No, the one next to him. The one with the turban is Quirrel."

"Snape seems like he's mad at everyone, but Quirrel looks like he hates me only, but a lot more."

"That's strange. Maybe Dumbledore has an answer."

Harry turned to his plate, and began trying some fried chicken and mashed potatoes. "This is really good!"

A little while later, after everyone was finished eating, Professor Dumbledore walked to the center of the raised platform, to a fancy podium. "Before you all go off to bed, I have a few announcements so make. The Forbidden Forest is forbidden, the list of banned items is banned, and the sealed door in the the third-floor corridor is off-limits to those not wishing for a painful death."

He went over to his seat and sat down.

Dumble Door Dumble Door Dumble Door

The next day, the Gryffindors had potions in the morning. Harry was excited to see what you could do with magical soup.

They all sat down in the classroom, one by one. The teacher was not there. After everyone came in, Snape walked in, dramatically, with his robe streaming behind him, almost like a cape. "Most of you probably will not understand the subtle art of brewing potions. You may think all there is to magic is foolishly waving wands, and making noise and lights. There will be none of that in my classroom. I can teach you to brew fame, bottle glory, or even put a stopper in death itself. You can only achieve this if you work. "

Harry interrupted, "Professor, how do you do that?"

Snape turned to the boy-who-interrupted, with surprise. "Do what?"

"Brew fame, bottle glory, or put a stopper in death."

"I could explain it to you, but I doubt your little Gryffindor mind could understand."

Harry was disappointed.

"Now, before I was cut off, I was going to ask our new, interrupting, celebrity some things, to see if he actually knows anything."

A couple kids chuckled.

"So, Mr Potter, what would I get if I added powdered root of ashpodel to an infusion of wormwood?"

"I'm guessing a potion, sir, but I don't know which one."

"Ten points from Gryffindor for your disrespectful attitude."

Harry was stunned. Maybe Ron was right, Snape was just a big git.

"Let me try once more, just in case there's something in there. What is the difference between Monkshood and Wolfsbane?"

Harry didn't know the answer. This year was off to quite the bad start.

Magic Soup Magic Soup Magic Soup

Ginny weasley was sitting at home reading a book about potions, to see what being at Hogwarts was like.

Suddenly she was wondering the differences between Monkshood and Wolfsbane. Because of the material she was reading, she thought it was something written in the book, so she thought, "Isn't that the name of a plant we have in the garden? Mum said it had a bunch of names, but they were all the same thing."

Potion cookbooks Potion cookbooks Potion cookbooks

Harry thought frantically about the predicament. Answer wrong? Lose points. Say you don't know? Lose points. Figure out the answer? Maybe not lose points.

Then, the girl's voice was back. Harry heard faintly that they were the same plant. Assuming that it was a student behind him giving him the answer, he said, "They're the same, sir."

Snape was too stunned to take points away. After a few seconds of stunned silence, he waved his wand, and the instructions to a boil-curing potion appeared on the chalkboard. "Begin."

Pointy-Nose-Potion-Professor Pointy-Nose-Potion-Professor

Quirrels class was disappointing, since all he did was just stutter incoherently about what he had done, and make everything smell like garlic. However, he completely ignored Harry, unlike at the feast.

How was it? I want to keep doing the longer chapters, but that means they take longer to write. Thanks for reading!


	4. Floaty Feathers

I want this story to be one of those hilarious, kinda sappy everybody-lives fics. Maybe with a bit of drama, and with lots of ideas from other fics. The main inspiraton for me writing this strange fanfiction is Captain Compass's works, (he's writing the Honestly Harry series.) mostly because of his very slow update time. Not that I'm complaining, really, if that's what it takes to write a good story. It's a well-written series, funny, and kind of my goal to imitate. Some others are The Methods of Ratonality, Fate's Debt, and many many others. It'll take a while for me to write mine, though.

I don't own the characters. Crazy mutilated version of the story? Yup!

Chapter 4: Floating Feathers

The next class was Charms. Harry thought this seemed interesting, as it was the class that, if you paid enough attention in it, could teach you how to make shoes tap dance - on their own!

They all filed in, and split up into pairs to sit down. Harry was, of course, next to Ron. The fluffy-haired girl named Hermione was nearby, with the clumsy boy named Neville.

Their Charms professor was quite funny. He was maybe three feet tall, and with a voice to match. "Today, as your first lesson, I will teach you the Levitation charm. The incantation is 'Wingardium Leviosa,' and the wand movement is a swish, then a flick, like this." He then demonstrated the spell on a feather on his desk. It floated into the air, a few feet above the desk.

"Now, practice the movement with me."

He swirled his wand, then flicked it sharply. The class folowed along, but with a few cases of the loose-grip flying wand syndrome.

"This time, finish with your wand pointing at your feathers, and say the incantation."

Harry decided to watch for a few seconds to see the others. Hermione got it perfectly the first time. Neville succeded in shredding his feather. A boy named Seamus Finnigan managed to set his on fire. Ron's did nothing.

So, Harry gave it a try. He swished, flicked, said the words, and pointed. Nothing happened. He wiggled his wand, to see if it was following it. Still nothing.

He tried waving it around, but was interrupted by the little professor's squeaky shouts, "Put me down!"

Harry looked at the professor, confused. He waved his wand side to side, and to his utter shock, the little man followed. He quickly set the professor down, then dropped his wand like a hot potato.

"Mr. Potter?"

"Yes?"

"Twenty points to Gryffindor for excellent charm work, although I must remind you, the target was the feather, not your professor."

The class laughed.

"Sorry, sir. I didn't realize I was doing it at first." Harry said sheepishly.

"It's quite alright, I'm not hurt, but I was certainly surprised. Now back to work, the rest of you!"

They kept working, until all of them had gotten their feathers into the air. Though, some made theirs float high, and others just managed to get them to jump.

Thanks for reading, guys! (And girls, too!) This is one of the classes I will describe, and after I get them done, I'll skip time periods and rarely write down more than the fact that the class happened, as I have many more interesting ideas to fill the story with.


	5. Self-Assigned Homework

Why has this taken longer than normal? Procrastination and laziness.

I don't own nothing ya recognize. I just steal ideas, butcher them, and spew out nonsense that maybe could be called a story.

Chapter 2: Self-Assigned Homework

After the spectacle earlier, Harry was tired of the funny looks he kept getting. So, he decided to prevent something like this from happening, by pre-learning the charms.

Hary made his way to the library, and when he explained to Ron what he was doing, Ron was shocked that anyone would ever _want_ to do work. Nevertheless, he made the journey to the Hogwarts Library. He went up to Madam Pince, the librarian. She looked like an unpleasant person who resembled a thin vulture, though he decided to talk to her anyway. "Where can I find a good book on Charms, with a lot of information on them?"

She looked at him somewhat suspiciously. "Come with me. Why are you looking for a Charms book, after only your first lesson?"

"I want to learn them ahead, so I know what I'm doing, and don't do something like this time. I accidentally levitated Professor Flitwick."

She was sort of impressed, both by his levitation, and his solution to his problem. "Here you go. There are a few good references here." She said, pointing to a shelf with a row of thick books.

"Thank you. Do you have something I can write on, to help me remember any good ones?"

She did, and gave him a piece of parchment, and he took out his own quill. He grabbed one of the books off the shelf, Practically Charming. It was supposed to be a book that had all kinds of charms, some lesser-known, and some well-known. It had some like the levitation charm, and some new ones like the Summoning and Banishing charms. He quickly added those to his list once he read about them.

There were also two other charms, that were not widely heard of. One was Citius, which sped up a person or object. It could be used to do homework quickly, or to speed up a plant's growth. Another very useful one was the Duplico Meus spell, which created a temporary clone of the caster. The two people are the same person, in two places at once. However, they are separate, with their own memories, until they touched. Then they would merge back into one, with the memories of both.

(Author's note: I made these last 2 up.)

After he had read and written down this last one, the girl with fluffy hair walked over. "What are you doing?"

He looked up from his work. "Just looking up charms, so I can be prepared, and not do something like levitate the professor."

She smiled. "It's good to see someone else working, not just because they have to. Is it all right if I sit here at this table, too?"

"Sure, what are you working on?"

"Oh, just some homework, from Potions. I thought I'd come over and meet the celebrity here."

"Hmm. I don't really like having this much attention, but I guess I'll have to deal with it."

"So, how did you levitate the professor?"

"That was an accident. I was trying to aim for the feather on my desk, but I ended the spell just a little early, with me hitting Flitwick instead."

"Ok. What charms have you found so far?"

"The levitation, summoning, banishing, cloning, and accelerating charms."

"I've never heard of the last two. How do they work?"

"The accelerating charm is Citius, and it just makes a person or object do whatever it's doing, just faster. I'm going to say, 'this is normal for me.' I've never tried this one, but it seems simple enough."

So he said, "this is normal for me."

Then there was a pause, as he cast the spell on himself.

"Thsisnrmlfme."

"So, did it work?"

Hermione was wide-eyed. "Yes. Do you know what this means? I can do homework faster!"

Harry laughed. "Really? I find a cool acceleration spell, and you think of homework? Why not dodging spells, really fast, and sending them out just as fast?"

Hermione nodded, somewhat embarassed.

"Well, now to the other one."

He cast the spell on himself, and suddenly there were two of him standing there.

Harry 1, the one on the left, began. "It seems to have worked. Now there are -"

Harry 2, the one on the right, resumed. "-two of me."

"I think I could beat the Weasley twins"

"At their own game, all by simply"

"Talking with myself."

Hermione was even more awed by this. "I guess I'm talking about homework again, but you could work on multiple essays at once. And how do you go back to being yourself?"

"Yes, you are. And I just touch myself. Okay, that sounded weird."

He have himself a high-five, and suddenly there was only one of him.

"That was pretty cool. Now I have the memories, from both of me."

Professor McGonagall walked over a few seconds later. "Mr. Potter, the Headmaster wishes to see you in his office. He also would like to inform you that he enjoys Lemon Drops."

"Could I pack up my things first?"

"Of course. Just go straight to his office after you put your things away. It seems urgent."

Harry turned to Hermione. "Bye, I guess. It was nice talking to you."

"Bye, Harry."

He grabbed his things and left.

Let me know if the spells translate wrong. I used Google Translate, so it might have a few mistakes. Citius is supposedly "accelerate me," and Duplico Meus is supposedly "duplicate me." Thank you for reading, and if I made a mistake, or I deserve a compliment, let me know!

-The-One-With-The-Username-That-Is-Just-Way-Too-Long-And-Whose-Nickname-Is-Worse


	6. The Headmaster

Please leave a review. It always makes my day better knowing someone likes my writing. And, I just updated the first book. Please read the new parts, in the first and last chapters. Thank you.

Chapter 6: The Headmaster's office

Harry grabbed his things, said goodbye to Hermione, and walked away a few steps. Suddenly, he set his things down, and pointed his wand at himself. Then, suddenly, there were two of him.

Harry 1 said, "You go take our stuff to our dorm, I'll go to the Headmaster's office."

"Sure." Harry 2 replied. He pointed his copied wand at himself, and said, "Citius."

He disappeared in a blur, in the direction of the dorms. The other Harry calmly walked towards the Headmaster's office. Madam Pince said, "Potter, no running in the library!"

"I was here the whole time, just walking."

She looked at him disbelievingly, as she had just seen him run out so fast he was a blur. She let him go, though.

Professor McGonagall, who was watching this, chuckled a little bit. He had told the truth, after all.

In the corridor outside the library, the blur called Harry whizzed past, and for just a second, slowed down, and collided with the Harry that just walked out of the library. Except it didn't collide, and kept on going. The Harry outside the library disappeared.

He quickly, of course, got to the Headmaster's office's entrance.

And, to greet him, was some animal-like thing, with an oddly human face. It was made entirely out of stone, however, that didn't stop its eyes from following Harry around. 'I guess magic can do lots of things, so why not this?' He thought to himself, before dismissing the thought that it was at all weird.

"So, do I have to take a quiz from you on Professor Dumbledore's favorite candy?"

The statue did not move, or respond at all.

"So what does him liking Lemon Drops have to do with anything?"

The statue suddenly jumped aside as soon as he said the words "lemon drops."

"Hmm. It must be the password."

He walked up to the stairs, which, as soon as he had both feet on them, started moving. They didn't jolt him around, just brought him to a door. He knocked, and the door opened.

"Harry. It's good to see you. Though I was not expecting you so quickly."

"Well, I used an acceleration spell."

"Ah, I had quite forgotten those existed. It's good to know that someone is finding those old spells and putting them into use." He paused. "Although, I did not call you to my office to discuss your means of transportation."

"Did I break a rule levitating Professor Flitwick?"

"No, though I would recommend not doing that again. I would like to test your mind."

Harry was confused. "For what?"

"Some people are born with natural barriers against mental attacks, from Legilimency. It is the name of reading someone's mind. Would you let me attempt it on you, to check?"

"Does it hurt?"

"No, not unless the attacker intends to harm the one being attacked."

"I guess that would be fine, then."

"Try to think of a memory you wouldn't mind me seeing, so there won't be any embarassment if I get through."

Harry thought for a little bit. "Ok."

"Legilimens."

Harry felt the attack, though it was gentle, and pushed forward the memory of seeing Hogwarts for the first time. After a short time, Dumbledore retracted his Legilimency.

"You seem to have some level of natural shielding, though I was able to get through. Hogwarts is quite beautiful at night."

Harry thought for a moment. "The incantation for Legilimency is 'legilimens,' and the protection against it is 'occlumency,' right?"

"Yes." Professor Dumbledore said, with a bit of curiosity.

"Occlumens Maximus." Harry said, pointing his wand at his head. "Try it again."

Professor Dumbledore hesitated, realizing that if what Harry just did worked, it would have a huge impact. He tried again. To his complete astonishment, he found a mental wall, which was seamless, and strong.

"Harry, dear boy, you've done it. Even my own shields cannot be as strong as the ones you made. And, on top of it all, you created a new spell!"

"Really? I thought I was just using an existing spell."

"No, the 'occlumens' spell had not existed, though now that I think of it, I see no reason for it not to. I would have tought you Occlumency, but you have that covered. I think you should be able to handle the next part. Have you wondered why Voldemort attacked your family?"

"Because he was evil?"

Dumbledore chuckled. "Well, that certainly is a reason, though not the only one. There was a prophecy, about you and him."

He brought out a large stone bowl, carved with runes and symbols, set it on the desk, and put his wand to his forehead. As he pulled it away, a sticky, silvery glob of something stuck to the tip of his wand. He tapped it a few times on the bowl's side, to get it off. Once it was off, the small glob quickly grew, to fill the bowl. "Now, place the tip of your finger into this."

Sorry guys, this took way too long. Thank you to the people reading this. Please review, and tell me how I did.


	7. The One With Much Hair

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you, the Author's notes. It's what all of you came to this story to read, I know. What? It's not? Oh. Well, read it anyway. So, I seem to be slow at updating, compared to my first story, which only took maybe three days. That's because I'm forming some semblance of a plan, and editing my past writing in both stories, to fix mistakes, and to make it make more sense. Please read them, and let me know how I did. I just reread Make a Wish, and I want to put a little bit of the oblivious-Harry from that in here.

Chapter 7: The One With Much Hair

Harry was pretty startled. For one, the room disappeared as soon as he touched the silver stuff. Also, he was currrently falling down a bottomless pit. And the most startlingthing of all, was who else was falling with him. Well, not the person, more of what he was doing. Albus Dumbledore was sitting cross-legged, sipping tea, and waving at him. WHAT.

As abruptly as it started, it ended. They were suddenly in an empty room, with a table and two chairs, on opposite sides of the table.

Harry looked over at the odd old man, who had neither tea in his hand, nor crossed legs. "What? How did you do that?"

"Ah, that is an interesting question. I took this memory from my own mind, so everything here is from my mind. With me in it, even while someone else is, everything here is up to my imagination. I will show you the memory, but I can also make anything else happen. It is quite useful to pause a memory, or add an extra chair to view from, for example."

"Well then. I certainly hadn't expected that. Why did you do it?"

"I wanted to lighten the mood somewhat, before such a serious moment."

Two people walked in, completely oblivious to the strangeness before them. One was Professor Dumbledore, and one was a strange woman with long, unkempt hair, and thick, round glasses. "Please sit down." The second Dumbledore said.

"So, you would like to teach Divination at Hogwarts, correct?"

"Yes. I believe those with the inner eye should be allowed to develop their talents, with experienced help."

"All right, then. What is your full name?"

"Sybill Patricia Trelawney."

"Thank you. Are you related to Cassandra Trelawney?"

"Yes. She was my great-grandmother."

"How do you intend to teach the students to 'exercise' their 'inner eye'?"

"I plan on teaching basic tea leaf reading, how to use a crystal ball, and similar things."

"Forgive me if I sound as if I am trying to have you 'show me a trick,' but could you predict something for me? I would simply like to make sure I have a good candidate."

"I understand, Albus. May I call you Albus?" He nodded, so she continued. "I brought some of my things here, I foresaw you asking me this, so I prepared." She placed a large crystal ball on the table with a loud thump. (no one could quite figure out where she had it, or how it got there. The response someone would have got, if they asked, was 'Magic.')

Albus was skeptical of it being predicted, but decided not to comment.

Sybill rolled the ball closer to her on the table. "I see many things. There seems to be something large, though I can't quite make it out. Perhaps something important is going to happen? It could be something like how the Dark Lord is to be defeated. It usually clears up, so I can see it, alread-"

She suddenly stopped speaking, and fell back, with her head limply over the back of the chair.

 _ **"The one who has the power to defeat the Dark Lord was born as the seventh month died. He will be known as the one who has much hair, to his friends, to his enemies, the maker of pots."**_

There was a muffled yelling outside.

 _ **"** **He will pass a series of trials, after ten years of exile. The Dark Lord will mark the child, and in attempting to destroy his foe, will strengthen him instead. The Dark Lord's great power shall be his greatest weakness, and his strength his undoing.**_ _ **The One and One shall survive while there is still Two, and the One shall continue to be One and Two and Three and Many. The Two shall help the One and One and the Three will help the One and One and Two. The Two will survive while there is still Three.**_ _ **"**_

The unflappable slightly younger version of the Headmaster, was flapped.

Sybill woke up, and slowly looked around. "I must have dozed off there for a second. What did I miss?"

She paused, looking at the shocked expression on the old man's face. "What?" She looked around, this time looking for an explanation. "Did someone die?"

After a little while, Albus slowly recovered. "I suppose you will be wanting the job?"

"Well, yes, as I agreed to the interview, I thought you would know that."

"You have it."

The scene faded to black, and suddenly Harry and Professor Dumbledore were falling up, a reverse of when they entered the memory, except without the Headmaster's antics.

Professor Dumbledore was the first to speak. "It is probably my lack of memory from old age, but it seems to me that it changed since I first heard it. I will have to think about that."

"So what was that about?"

"It was about you, and it was made on October 30th, 1981."

Harry's eyes widened. "The one with much hair - Harry. The maker of pots - Potter." he suddenly burst out laughing, and with a snort, said "the one-" he interrupted himself with another snort "- with much hair."

After a bit, he stopped laughing. "I don't think I really needed the extra humor. That was funny in itself."

Albus frowned. "Harry, this is a serious matter. No one should have to have their life planned out like this."

"She didn't say when it would happen, just something about seven years."

"I suppose you are right. Now, you should probably return to your dormitory, before curfew. It appears we were in here for longer than I thought we would be. Also, you have Transfiguration in the morning."

"All right, Headmaster. Do I just go out the same way I came in?"

"Yes."

"Thanks."

Harry went back to his dorm.

Let me know (in a review) what you think. I have a challenge for you. The one to come up with the best way Harry makes Transfiguration funny gets their username and user id in a permanent spot on my profile. If you change your name, pm me and I'll change it. Of course, I'll put what you did, since I might do this again, with a different chapter/topic. Thank you all for reading!


	8. Pet Peeves

I'm really sorry I take so long to write. However, this one took quite a bit of thought. How do you write Peeves properly? I don't know, so if I need to fix something, let me know. The Transfiguration challenge is still on, it'll be next chapter when I put it in. Also, I'm moving around the end of this month, so the next chapter might take extra long.

Edit: Actually, it's around the end of november when we move, so more chapters for you guys! Yay!

Chapter 8: Pet Peeves

Harry walked down the stairs to the Headmaster's office. Once he got down to the statue, he realized he had no idea how to get back, as it was different from when he was heading to where he was. So he decided to find someone to ask for help. So, off he went.

He went down a corridor he thought was the right way. It made a sharp turn to the left. He followed that, and there was another left, then another. However, the original hallway was not there, but there was a tapestry of a wizard seemingly teaching tutu-clad trolls to dance. It moved, of course, to further cement the ridiculousness of wizardkind in Harry's mind. The hall ended with a wall, so he decided to turn around, and find that the hall was longer than he thought it was.

'It's probably more magic,' Harry thought to himself.

So, he walked on, taking a right turn at the end of the path, towards a door along one side in the new hallway. Wondering if it was a shortcut, he opened it. The room was pretty dark, though he was letting some light in. He saw a trap door in the floor, and was about to walk towards it, when he noticed a growling sound. Looking up, he saw three heads of a doglike shape snarling at him. As he didn't really know any offensive spells, he turned around and ran, making sure to close the door.

It took quite a few dead ends, turns, backtrackings, and choices between paths, but he managed to find someone. It was a little man, probably the size of a fifth year, going along down the hall. If Harry was paying more attention, he might have noticed that the man was levitating off the ground, and was slightly transparent.

"Can you help me find the Gryffindor common room? I seem to be lost."

The man turned to him. "An ickle firstie, lost in the castle? I suppose I should help him. It's over that way." he said as he pointed towards a wall with a ridiculous number of paintings on it.

Harry realized how close he had gotten to the entrance without knowing it. "Thank you. What's your name?"

The transparent man was surprised, as no one had asked for his name before. "I'm Peeves, Hogwarts's resident poltergeist." he said with a bow.

"What's a poltergeist?" Harry asked.

"I'm a ghost that can interact with physical things, so I prank the students."

"Oh. Can you fly?"

Peeves responded by shooting through the air, and then swooping backwards and then down, back to where he was before.

"Cool! You should talk to the Weasley Twins. They'd love some help and ideas for their pranks. I'm Harry Potter, by the way. I probably should be going back to my dorm. Thank you again."

With that, he walked to the painting of the Fat Lady, said, "Caput Draconis," and then went off to his dorm, and sat down on his bed, which was next to Ron's.

"I just met Peeves. He sounds really fun, pranking the people here."

"You did? Where was he? He and the other ghosts have been missing all day."

"He was just outside the common room. Wait, there's more ghosts?"

"Yeah," Ron replied. "a whole bunch of them."

"Cool! Oh, and why would this school have a three-headed dog? It looked like it was guarding a trap door."

"I have no idea."

"Hmm."

Thank you guys for reading. Please let me know what you think, and send me a suggestion for Transfiguration. I want to have at least two suggestions before I pick one. Reviews or PMs will work. (No, not PMS.)


	9. What Just Happened?

So guys, the move has been delayed, but we're still working on the house. And only one person has responded for the challenge, the new winner: AstoriaGrace.

Also, sorry for the extremely long wait. I have some schoolwork to do, and as with everything I do, I procrastinate. So, this wound up getting pushed back.

Chapter 9: What Just Happened?

Albus Dumbledore had to pause and think after what just happened. Harry completely disregarded the importance of the prophecy he had been just shown.

"So, that went as well as expected." said a young man getting up off his chair in the shadowy corner of the office. He appeared almost ghost-like, being just slightly transparent, and appearing to float when he walked.

"If that went well, I'm afraid I don't understand your standards. Harry did not understand the significance of the prophecy." Albus replied.

"Give him time. I wouldn't have suggested it if I didn't know how he would react. Besides, he really needs to know this."

"All right, - What should I call you? Your real name is not an option, as someone might hear."

"Hmm." He thought about it for a second, while fidgeting with his necklace, which seemed to be a mangled piece of gold, which could have been some sort of medallion at some point. "Call me James." He chuckled. "No one's going to believe who I am, anyway. May as well have some fun by scaring them. You know who I'm talking about, specifically."

"The name sounds reasonable, but your reason is questionable. I've told you many times, I have my reasons for trusting him. Where did the acceleration spell come from? I have not heard of such a spell."

"Just made it up, and stuck the book in place after I realized the it wasn't in the library. Had to talk to Madam Pince about my new donation, so she would know about it. Citius is supposed to translate to 'Accelerate me' or something like that, I can't remember the exact phrase."

"So, should I be expecting other such spells that you have created?"

"Oh, yeah. Lots. I decided to spend a whole day making up spells. Wound up with quite the long list."

"Can you give me some examples, so I can know when to play the old knowledgeable wizard?"

James chuckled. "Sure. There's a cloning spell, it makes duplicates that last until you and the duplicate touch, then you get the memories from that duplicate. There's one to boost your magical reserves, one to make you intangible, one to make you absorb any material you touch, besides your wand and clothes, into magical power, one to act like polyjuice, complete with the transformation effect, and a few others."

"Thank you. I will let you go now, as it sounds like you have things to do."

"Thanks, Headmaster. And I'm off to go fudge with the layout of Hogwarts!" With that, he stood on the steps, and rode the spiral staircase down like an escalator. Albus suspected James used an acceleration charm to speed up the moving staircase (as it moved faster than it should have), but he said nothing out loud.

AN: Transfiguration class has been moved to next chapter.

Please review, it makes me happy.


	10. An Explosive Entrance Into Education

Thank you for all the support! I get an email notification whenever someone reviews, follows, or favorites one of my stories. I never thought I'd actually get this many people reading my stuff. I'm still working on shrinking the length of these author's notes.

Thank you, AstoriaGrace! I modified the idea slightly, but it's generally the same.

By the way, Merry late Christmas! I wanted to get this done by Christmas, but by the time I decided on that, it _was_ Christmas...

I now have a site at longusernamefanficupdates dot wordpress dot com. I've seen that links don't work, so here's the link in this form.

Chapter 10: McGiggles's Transmogrification Class

Harry woke up a bit earlier than Ron, as usual. He checked the clock. 8:07. Breakfast, according to the class planners Hermione had made sure he and Ron got, was in about 27 minutes.

"Ron, wake up."

"Whaaa-?" Ron asked. His excellent linguistic abilities were showcased in this moment of exceptional articulation.

"Breakfast. It's time to wake up."

Ron was immediately awoken at the prospect of filling his stomach.

The two got dressed, and headed down to the common room, where Hermione was waiting. Ron just headed to the portrait door, but Harry paused to greet Hermione, and to ask her to go to breakfast with them. She agreed, and the trio, with Ron leading, headed down to the Great Hall.

There was everything breakfast-related on the tables: Bacon, waffles, pancakes, French toast, and sausage, among other things. Harry's owl, Hedwig, flew over and perched on his shoulder as he was grabbing some bacon to put on his plate. She was following the movement of the strip of meat, so he offered it to her. She took it, and flew off, probably to find a private place to munch on it.

Other than that, breakfast was a boring affair, and was quickly over. Transfiguration was at 9:00, so they headed to the classroom, which Hermione knew the way to. When they got to the classroom, they took their seats, but there was no teacher there.

"There's a teacher, right? It's 8:59." Harry said to Hermione, while Ron was dreaming about the advantages of not having a teacher, such as no homework to do, and free naptime during class.

"Of course there's a teacher. Wouldn't you think they'd mention it if they didn't have a teacher?"

The rest of the class filled the seats, as the trio was still waiting.

At 9:00, most of the class was there, except for a few late people. No one had noticed the cat sitting on the teacher's desk yet. Suddenly, the cat jumped off the desk, startling some students, and in mid-leap, morphed into a human.

Hermione's eyes went wide with the questions that could be asked.

Harry immediately wondered if he could do that himself.

Ron, quite liking the free time the lack of a teacher would provide, wasn't paying much attention and thus was very surprised. He let out a yelp, then quickly glanced around to see if anyone noticed.

The rest of the class had similar reactions.

Professor McGonagall immediately began teaching, almost like clockwork. "Today I will be teaching you the basic principles of Transfiguration, and I will then let you attempt a small Transfiguration of your own. Simply, Transfiguratiom is changing the form of an object with magic, to turn one object into another. In this class, either you will be careful and follow instructions, or you will leave, not to return to this class. Transfiguration can be dangerous if used carelessly."

The class was silent at her last statement.

"Now, let's begin. Before we practice actually transfiguring objects into other objects, I will tell you the main laws of Transfiguration, also known as Gamp's Five Laws of Elemental Transfiguration."

Hermione brightened, as she had read all about those laws.

"The first, and most commonly known is the law that states that food cannot be created in its completed form. You can conjure or transfigure ingredients, but you cannot make the entire meal or food item."

Harry raised his hand.

"Yes, Mr. Potter?"

"Well, what if you have some hot chocolate powder, and just pour it in water, but don't mix it, can you transfigure it into hot chocolate, that's been mixed?"

Professor McGonagall thought for a moment. "I suppose it could be possible."

Hermione then raised her hand.

"Miss Granger?"

"Since all organic material is made mostly of Carbon, and food is made of organic materials, could you take a stone, made mostly of carbon, and turn it into food? It's all the pieces, but in a different formation."

"I do not think so. Having the ingredients is one thing, but a stone does not qualify as an ingredient."

"But it's made of almost the same materials."

"I do not know the answer. However, do not experiment yet, as I have not taught you how to transfigure items."

"As I was saying, the second law states that it is impossible to create human life from an inanimate object, from a dead human, or by conjuring it."

Harry raised his hand again.

"Mr. Potter?"

"What about conjuring a duplicate of someone?"

"I do not believe it is possible. Why such a specific question?"

"I found a spell yesterday, and it makes a copy of me."

He proceeded to stand up, and move to an open-er area towards the side of the classroom. He pointed his wand at himself, and muttered to himself. Suddenly, there was a second one of him there, right next to the first.

The professor's jaw dropped open slightly. "Impossible..." she muttered to herself.

"It must be an illusion, as that breaks the second law." she told Harry.

"No, I don't think it is. He disappears when I touch him, but he can hold things."

He reached over, grabbed his quill from his desk, then tossed it at Harry 2. Harry 2 caught it, and then said, "Yeah, I can hold things. I'm just a copy of Harry over there. I think." He turned to Harry 1.

"I'm the copy, right?"

"Uh, yeah. Right Ron?"

Ron nodded.

"Yeah, you're the duplicate."

Harry 1 told the Professor, "We both have the memories of the class before this."

Harry 2 added, "Except after he made me, I started my own separate memories."

"Until we touch, then we're back to-"

"-Just being one."

"Unless I make more." He looked at Harry 2. "Why did you have to cut in?"

"Because I was thinking the same thing as you. We're the same person, remember?"

"Oh, right."

"We should go back to being a single person. We're probably distracting the class."

"Yeah."

They reached out, and poked each other in the index finger, and suddenly, there was only one Harry there.

"As interesting as your discussion with yourself was, with you re-defining talking to yourself, we still have a class."

"Oh. Sorry."

"Come to my office after class, I would like to know what spell you used. Now, to the third law. It is quite simple. It states that every Tansfiguration, no matter how big, or how small, will take some magical power to produce, and must be attempted by a witch or wizard, not by a muggle, or a machine."

Harry raised his hand another time.

"Yes?"

"What about the Philosopher's Stone? Ron told me about it, and it's supposed to change any metal into gold. It's not a wizard. And what makes it different?"

"As far as I know, it is imbued with a wizard's magic, to fuel it. And, to make it different, a transfiguration is reversible, thus making any gold that is from a transfiguration worthless, since it can be turned back into what it was before, and conjured items disappear over time. However, the Philosopher's stone makes the change to gold permanent via alchemy, not transfiguration, giving it value as real gold.

"Now, the fourth and fifth laws are connected. The fourth law states that every transfiguration will use up some energy, no matter how large or small, it will still use some. The fifth states that the power used is proportional to the matter transfigured. If it either starts with or results in a large object, it will drain a large amount of power. However, if you start with, and end with, a small object, you will only use a small amount of power.

"Do you have any questions? Mr Potter? Miss Granger? No? We will begin the practical part of today's lesson, changing a matchstick into a needle."

She picked up a box full of matchsticks off her desk, and handed it to Seamus Finnegan, who happened to be at the front of the class. "Pass these out, and make sure everyone gets one. If they need another for some reason, there should be enough."

So he did, and within about 3 minutes, the whole Gryffindor first year class had a matchstick each.

"To transfigure an object, first pick up your wand. I see some of you do not even have your wands out."

So, everyone took their wands from wherever they had stashed them, and eagerly waited for the next instruction.

"Point your wand at the object you are going to transfigure. Then, pause and imagine the object you are intending to change it into, which is a needle, and think about the details of it. Once you have the picture in your mind, then focus on the two together, and turning the matchstick into the needle. Do not move your wand away from the matchstick. Your magic will flow through your wand and change the object, but it is up to you that the correct object is transfigured, and into the correct result. Now begin."

Everyone paused for a second, then various small pops, poofs, bangs, and other various sounds were happening around the room, as some got it right, some transfigured it part of the way, and some failed entirely. Seamus accidentally turned his into a small dagger, that was roughly the shape of a needle, only it was about a foot long. Neville had shaky hands, and he accidentally changed his desk into a needle, which made him lose the matchstick that was on top of it. Hermione, of course, got it almost perfect on the first try. Ron didn't manage anything, as he was upset he had to work, and was distracted by Harry's previous display. Harry concentrated, and pointed, but nothing happened for a second. Then it exploded quite loudly, leaving a large crater in his desk. In the middle of it, there was a perfect needle.

Professor McGonagall was busy un-transfiguring Neville's desk, so she didn't see Harry's transfiguration. "I said to transfigure the needle, not destroy it, Mr Potter. Seamus, hand him another."

"But Professor, I did transfigure it."

"Then what was the explosion? A prank you got from one of the Weasley twins?"

"No, Professor. It was the transfiguration."

"Then show me the needle."

He fiddled with the rubble of his desk until he grabbed the needle, which he then proceeded to accidentally prick himself with, of course. "Ow!"

"What did you do, Mr Potter?"

"I poked myself with it. Just a second-" He picked it up, more carefully this time. "Got it!" He held it up for the professor to see. She came closer to look at it.

"I don't know how you managed it, Harry, but you've made the most explosive transfiguration I've ever seen. And, on top of it, you've managed a perfect result. Have you practiced this?"

"No, Professor. And do you know how to fix my desk?"

"Amazing. And yes, I think I can fix that."

"Thanks! I don't know much about explosion repair. Or anything about it, really."

Ron chuckled at that, as the professor pointed her wand at Harry's desk and muttered something. Then, Harry's desk re-formed into its original state.

Exploding Needles Exploding Needles Exploding Needles

Everyone in the class eventually got something that looked like a needle, even Ron.


End file.
